Book of Leaves

I left North Hollywood late this morning and got down to Torrance with very little traffic and in good time. Lowell and Linda Ford are really sweet people and Lowell spent much of the evening regaling me with tales of hiking and camping with my uncle Eddie that are really hilarious. We drove around this afternoon and checked out a couple of lighthouses in the area -- I got some good photos that I'll be able to share once I've been home and uploaded a few of them.

We'll be hiking day after tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll be going down to Target to pick up a pair of shorts and we'll be planning out the hike we'll take.

I'm very much enjoying myself and all is well. I'm going to be showing them some of my own photos and telling a few tales of my own adventures tomorrow. I hope everyone who was celebrating the 4th had a good and safe day.

For the moment, I'm a bit tired and crispy from traveling and feeling some pain. Tylenol has been taken and I'm about to crash hard.

Nite everyone!

We got out a bit before noon today to go hiking. There was veggie sausage, berry pie, and cubed up mango for breakfast along with some tea before we left.

The drive up to the canyon wasn't too long. The roads in the mountains here are very twisty and narrow, rather more than they usually tend to be in the Northwest in my experience, but I don't usually do a lot of driving on back roads through the Cascades either.

The day has been sunny and hot. There were quite a few people in the park, though tagh333 says it wasn't too badly crowded for this area. I took my camera along and got some really nice flower and wildlife shots -- though I also got some that were too blurry to recognize because I'm having a hard time focusing. I think it's definitely time to get the eyes checked. I can't really tell through the viewfinder whether something is much in focus or not. rosiel7673 was identifying plants for me along the way, so I got a fair idea of what I was looking at for the most part. There was a lot of poison oak alongside the path in places and we had to skirt by it carefully.

( Photo here! )

Today I got taken to three bookshops -- Bodhi Tree, Cauldron Kitty (more Pagan tchatchkes than books) and Iliad Books. Traffic in Santa Monica and Ventura along the beach was hideous. Actually, traffic everywhere was hideous. And insane. I must not neglect to mention insane. I'm glad I didn't have to drive. But there were books. Many, many books.

*happy sigh*

There was Italian food for lunch, which was really only okay, but dessert was OMG delicious. Sfogliadella. OH MY GODS. Food porn on the hoof. It had only come out of the oven about an hour previous.

*dies of the delicious*

Flaky pastry, ricotta cheese, citron... slightly sweet but not much so it was PERFECTION. I don't care for overly-sweet stuff so this was a blessing from the Gods, even sprinkled with confectioner's sugar.

*dies some more*

Tomorrow, hiking in the hills above Los Angeles.

I went down 880 to 101 for my trip south. Stopped for Chinese in a podunk little town called Gonzales and shocked the whatsit out of the proprietor (in a good way) by having my own chopsticks. REI wins again.

The heat was blazing through the valley until I hit the down side of the pass to the coast. I hit rush hour traffic in Santa Barbara and was crawling along for an hour or so. I filled the tank as I set out and again when I hit the halfway point so 416 miles is one full tank of gas. I think the tank holds 10 gallons with a little grace, so that was about 40 mpg highway. Not bad at all. The crack in the windshield has not expanded as yet. And Squat was good to me, providing me with a lovely parking spot right opposite tagh333's apartment building. It had been looking pretty solidly parked in so I was lucky to find anything in that very long block.

I'm now sitting in the kitchen under a fan while rosiel7673 is making some Greek salad for dinner. I have no idea what, if anything, is planned for my sojourn here but I intend to have lots of conversations and much fun before I head south again on July 5th to see Lowell Ford and his wife. Photos will be taken. I believe a hike was mentioned as a possibility for my LA area stay before heading south so that sounds fun, even in the heat.

Anybody in the LA area want a copy of my book? I have 5 of them with me. Ping me here and we can figure out how to get in touch.

The place is quiet -- lwood and her beloved have both gone to work and I am here with the kitties about to toss myself in to a shower, set the living room to rights, and pack up Garuda to get on the road.

I'll be heading down 101 today, as tagh333 and company don't get home from work until about 6-ish and I kinda want to avoid rush hour LA-area traffic anyway. It's not as long a trip as Highway 1, nor as short and boring as I-5, though I'll be taking 5 back north when I turn Garuda homeward. I've had a fabulous time in the Bay Area, as always, and may have the time and wherewithal to stop briefly for a meeting with Lorrie on the way north on 5 toward Redding as well, provided I give her enough lead time to arrange it. I'm thinking the trip back home will probably take two days with a stop in Redding and dinner in Portland with martianmooncrab.

In the meantime the phone is charged up. Everything is gathered into a couple of places to consolidate for final packout. The day is sunny and warm.

I'm looking forward to the road.

Thank you to everyone who took the time to get together with me, and to my sweetie and her husband. You're all the best!

After getting some of her morning work stuff done, lwood and I ventured into the heart of San Francisco to Samovar for tea with finnchuill. Food and tea were both fantastic, but it was definitely pricey. Worth it, but ouch.

I was delighted to see finnchuill. He and lwood had, I think, met in passing at PCon this past year, but were not really acquainted. We talked a little about my trip, about poetry, and about the yummy food. I wasn't feeling done with the conversation after we had finished, so lwood hauled us off so she could buy a particular set of knitting needles she had need of, then she dropped us off near the Beat Museum, which is kitty corner across the street from City Lights Books.

City Lights is one of the hearts of the Beat movement and something of a pilgrimage for me. I've been there once before, the first time I went to a PCon when it was still in downtown SF. A lot of west coast poetry history found its ground zero there in readings and publications. I enjoyed the Beat Museum, but to be honest aside from its impressive collection of first editions it wasn't well curated. The gent who runs the place is friendly and helpful. I found a wonderful rare Anne Waldman chapbook that I picked up for a song. He had a few others that were out of my price range but I'm pleased with what I got.

What I think disappointed me most was that the women of the Beats were represented primarily in one small corner alcove rather than being integral throughout the exhibit. He said there wasn't much material available about them, though many of them are, in fact, still alive. I suspect most of the folks going in there have Keroac and Ginsberg fetishes. Certainly they're worthy of notice, but really, so are many of the women involved. I also found a couple of Diane Di Prima books I'd been looking for, so I was very pleased by that -- one at the Beat Museum, the other at City Lights.

When finnchuill and I went into City Lights, we ran into his friend and poetry teacher Neeli Cherkovski, who was a charming, interesting older gent. He was a part of the Beats as well, though not one of the better-known ones. He invited us both over to something at "the treehouse" -- finnchuill, does he actually live in a treehouse? I know there are some famous ones in the area. I would very much have liked to go along, but I had to be getting back to Oakland to rejoin my sweetie.

As we walked down to the BART station (where I had to figure out how getting a ticket from the machines worked, but I'm clever so I managed it without too much trouble), we talked about filidecht, incubatory practice, vigils, and initiatory experiences in the Gaelic poetic tradition. I'd love to spend more time talking with him about it, but tomorrow morning I'm heading south to Los Angeles.

It was, in fact, a delightful day in many ways. I also finally downloaded a bunch of photos I've taken so far, including a few today of City Lights and such. Once I get home I'll have quite a few to share with everyone. No doubt I'll be taking even more when I get to LA.

On the road again soon, but for now -- SNUGGLES!

Yesterday lwood and I indulged in sushi with jcalanthe at a so-so all you can eat place. Elvis completely puts it to shame for the same price. The company, however, was wonderful. After sushi we went and had some tea (I had an herbal chai, as it was getting late and I didn't want to caffeinate). Jeans were procured at a local Sears prior to sushi so that I have something else to cover my buns with. This will help considerably with my wardrobe flexibility while I'm down here, though I hadn't expected to spend money on clothes during my trip. Ah well -- such is life.

Today lwood and I headed out with dpaxson for Muir Woods and Muir Beach. I took lots of photos, though I haven't downloaded them onto the puter yet. We walked through the woods for a bit on a short loop trail. The park was very crowded and there wasn't really any privacy or a chance to enjoy the space quietly, but the scenery was delightful. Muir Beach was somewhat less crowded, though the marine layer meant that the beach was overcast while the forest up above had been sunny and warm. We watched ravens playing and seagulls splashing around having a bath in the stream just above where it emptied into the bay.

After our sojourn in the wilds, we puttered our way over to have dinner with the local SFWA (science fiction writers association) group, as this is a fairly regular thing for dpaxson. I met some interesting, friendly folks. The food, unfortunately, was very mediocre. We had ice cream around the corner for dessert.

Once dinner and schmoozing was done, we headed back to Diana's for a wee dram of Oban to close out the evening's festivities. Tomorrow lwood works from home, with a short expedition to join me and whoever else shows up at Samovar for afternoon tea from 1-4pm. She may leave early, causing me to rely on what passes for my native intelligence and cleverness to find my way back to her neighborhood on the BART. We'll see if I manage to outsmart the local wildlife.

Garuda's windshield continues to crack from the temperature extremes down here. I rather expect by the time I get home it will be clean across the windshield and I'll have to save up to replace it. I should probably get the alignment done as well, as the steering continues to pull a bit to the right. My current spoon count is somewhere between a quarter of a tank and the OMG light. I also have to remember to pay my bills tomorrow. Not being at home is going to be a minor hassle, but at least I can do it all online these days. Huzzah for computers.

There has been some communications kerfuffling about me and visiting with friends in the Bay area.

WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON

Thus, wishing to avoid problems and further confusion, we have declared by fiat that Erynn will be available to one and all WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON at Samovar at Yerba Buena Gardens from 1-3pm, or to 4pm if folks are showing up and conversation is good. Join me for a late lunch or afternoon-ish tea. There are directions for walking, BART, and driving/parking.

This should solve a lot of various scheduling problems!

TONIGHT (MONDAY) FOR SUSHI

TONIGHT I will be with lwood and jcalanthe at Miyozen in Emeryville, 1147 40th St (corner of San Pablo), Emeryville, CA, between 7:30pm to 9-ish. If you can't make a daytime rendezvous, please join us for sushi tonight. It's reasonably inexpensive and it's the conveyor belt style of service. lwood says it is decent sushi, so all should be well.

If you are in the area and want one of my books, let me know and I shall bring a copy or two with me to these open invitations. Cost is $22 and I'll happily sign them for you!

Tuesday is reserved for girlfriend time, and probably for dpaxson, who has a free book for moi! I will take no appointments that day.

So I missed the Oakland Ave exit off 580. *blush* I then turned around and ended up mistakenly on the bridge to San Francisco and had to turn around on Treasure Island. *headdesk* That mistake cost me a $4 toll. But here I am, fed and watered with dpaxson and safely ensconced with my darling lwood's house awaiting dinner with jcalanthe this evening.

finnchill and lysana -- I need to know when we should get together and would prefer to get with both of you at the same time to conserve on girlfriend time. Please please please get in touch with lwood ASAP so we can work this out. Today sometime would be good. Ping her here on LJ if necessary. No pings, no seeing Erynn, for I am giving priority to the girlfriend and you need to make the arrangements for seeing me.

And now, decompression time.

I am awake and breakfasted and enjoying the quiet company of Gus and his new manuscript, which I've been poking at with a red pen (by his invitation). I have the files on my computer, but he's got an actual printout here that makes things ever so much easier to deal with. It's been fascinating so far and I'm very much looking forward to the rest of it.

Last night we had some very nice (though not particularly spicy) Thai just around the corner from his place. I have to take some pics of his balcony garden before I depart for points south. I should (and possibly will) write more about my weekend's adventure at the festival when I'm with lwood because more should be written than just the quick summary I posted last night. I'm much less tired now, though still a bit sore and very crispy from the sun. I'm also going to need to do laundry at the earliest opportunity, given that one of my pairs of jeans blew out on my during the camping expedition so my clean clothes supply has suddenly become 1/3 lighter.

I'll be heading out in probably an hour or so to avoid the worst of weekday traffic. A fabulous time is being had.

I love my friends.

The Eight Winds ADF campout was a lot of fun. Our Manannán ritual went fantastically well despite that we had a steep rocky access to the water instead of a beach, as we'd all been imagining. Kirk recorded chunks of the ritual for a podcast he's doing and will let me know when it goes up, so if you're horrendously unlucky, you may get to hear me singing and doing ritual things at some point.

My ogam divination workshop went very well also, with lots of people asking good questions and an excellent discussion about the use of multiple tools for divination with ogam. I sold three copies of my book, and talked to a lot of really nice folks. Several, I think, will be back in touch with me once they're back home.

Huge props to seanthedruid and all his friends, who made me very welcome and put together a wonderful camping festival. Salt Point State Park was lovely and I met some really great folks. I'd love to get together with everyone again sometime! Photos were taken, conversations were conversed, nummy food was eaten, ritual was ritualized.

I'm currently in Sebastopol, CA, staying with Gus DiZerega. There will be Thai food for dinner. Tomorrow I shall be away to Oakland to join lwood and dpaxson for a few days of schmoozing and snuggles. There shall be fun. I demand it! ;)

In the meantime, I'm very tired but enjoying the sunshine. I hope everyone is well and you're all having fun without me.

Cheers!

Well, what happened is that the ARCO card temporarily has a limit attached to it for the first couple of weeks. I called them and arranged to have them authorize a withdrawal of $100, which will pay for the restaurant kerfuffle and a couple of tanks of gas. Then I called/emailed alfrecht to have him overnight me my regular BECU card to dpaxson's place so I can pick it up there after the weekend. He was asleep but, with luck, he'll get the message sometime this afternoon and the card will be awaiting me in Berkeley to make the rest of the trip easier.

Anyway, Problem more or less solved for the moment.

On with the road trip.

It has been, by turns, a wonderful and a somewhat fucked up day.

The drive was lovely. I had a misunderstanding about martianmooncrab's availability today. I was passing through Portland at noon, just as she was going into the first showing of a movie she wanted to see. I'd thought she was going in later, but the time I thought she was going in was instead when she would be getting out.

Somewhat disappointed, I instead called zortified, who met me in Albany and dragged me off to her favorite BBQ place. The brownies, yes, are to die for. OMG. And the bbq sauce and the chicken was made of awesome as well.

The drive south was lovely. Turned westward at Grants Pass, where it was a sweltering 95f but as I descended 199 toward 101, the temp dropped by about 10 degrees as I got into the mountains and the trees. By the time I got to 101, it was drizzling out and the coast -- what I could see of it -- was gorgeous. Lots of vulturey birds flapping about, quite a few hawks, and a lovely great blue heron. I even saw a couple of grazing elk!

The problematic bit tonight has been my new debit card from Arco. It was working just fine all day, including checking into the Motel 6 here in Eureka. Unfortunately, when I went to pay for dinner at the restaurant next door, it was declined for insufficient funds. I called and checked my balance, which is considerably more than what I needed for the dinner, trust me. Unfortunately, I can't speak to an actual human being to straighten things out until 7am tomorrow morning. So for the moment the restaurant has my drivers license (they share a parking lot with the Motel 6 so NBD) and I'll have to call BECU first thing tomorrow. I figure they probably have a computer hiccup about the new card and think because it's traveling south of my usual range right after being activated that it's probably credit fraud or something. So I'll have to straighten things out before I'm quite awake, but at least I'll be okay.

The stupid thing is that I left my actual BECU card at home because, silly me, I thought the Arco debit card was working just fine. *sigh*

Ah, well. Life goes on beyond the barricades. I'm ensconced in my room with the remains of the brownie of DOOOM (because everything goes better with DOOOM) and a couple of books. I'm pointedly ignoring the TV and listening to toonz on my iPhone.

As usual the night before I set out for elsewhere, I didn't sleep well or much. I did rest, but it's always hit and miss. I'm a bit tired but doing okay.

I'm upright, showered and dressed. Lavender black tea is made and in a travel mug. The bluetooth earpiece is primed and blinking. All plants have been hauled inside for the power washing on the building today. The guilty dog-mom has bought a new squeaky moose for the DoDC+3 in hopes of warding off some of the emo moping on the couch during my sojourn. Everything but the cooler and the computer bag (and myself) is in the car and ready to roll. I need to stop at Freddie's before I leave to get foot warmers for the camping portion of my trip. A Motel 6 room has been booked in Eureka with a veteran's discount -- a whole $41 for the night (plus $3 extra for wireless) in a nonsmoking room. Garuda will be gassed up on the way out.

The cooler contains some camping gear and a little road food plus polenta for breakfast the morning they're serving eggs. I've included cheeses, olives, and a couple of other bits for snacking, and a big strawberry yogurt smoothie. I have zines for the Zort, a copy of my ogam book for Lea, and well wishes from the flist.

Talked to mom last night, who wished me safe and happy travels. I have exchanged flurries of emails with Lowell and Tagh regarding addresses and directions. Next stop will be Portland for lunch and then it's all points south.

Friends. They are made of Awesome.

Flexible schedule of events:

Leave Everett Wednesday the 24th, night in Eureka
Thursday arrive at the campsite for the camp out weekend
Sunday night the 28th, Sebastopol with Gus
Monday the 29th through Thursday the 2nd with lwood and dpaxson
At some point during this interlude, ritual with blindwebster and visiting with jcalanthe, finnchuill and others (whee!) -- bonus points if you can pick me up so I don't have to drive, or you want to arrange a group dinner or something!
Addendum: jcalanthe only has the evening of the 29th, so dinner with him and lwood if that's workable
When we're all done being jolly together, head down to LA on the 2nd to see tagh333 and company until Sunday the 5th
At the end of the road, Lowell Ford down in Torrence from probably the 5th to the 8th for hiking, photography, and renewing a very old acquaintance under entirely new circumstances
Head home morning of the 8th
Back probably late July 10th

I'll be stopping in to see martianmooncrab on the way down and back. zortified, shall we possibly get together in Albany for an hour or so in one of those directions, possibly July 10th on my way north to Portland? Would love to meet you face to face after all this time, you crazy thing you!

erl_queen and sannion -- I doubt I'm going to have time or energy to stop by Eugene on this trip. Next time, though!

I should have intermittent internet access during most of that time except the actual campout and drivetime. I'll have my cell phone with me but it will be turned off during the gathering. If you need to leave a message, do so, just know I won't be returning any calls until probably late Sunday the 28th.

Last night I hauled in a bunch of stuff from the Sekrit Lab with aid from alfrecht. I have to bring everything in off the lanai and from the entryway tonight because tomorrow they're pressure-washing the building. I'm going to have to rely on alfrecht to get stuff back outside when that's done. And to water the plantses. Must remember to buy both pupfood and foot warmers today. I also need to remember to bring along all the various chargers & wires needed for my mobile electronics task force. And the cameras.

Gah. So much stuff. Books. Copy of ritual. Addresses and directions for everyone.

Feck. I have to remember to email tagh333 for directions again. It's been a couple of years since I visited.

I'll be leaving tomorrow early to try to avoid most of the traffic problems. I should be in Portland around lunchtime to visit with martianmooncrab. After that it'll be down I-5 until I turn off for the coast and down to Eureka for the night.

I respect and appreciate the folks who have been following the election and protests in Iran. It seems obvious to me that the election was fraudulent. Of course, we've had fraudulent elections here as well. Here's the voice of a woman who fled Iran to live in Canada. She has a lot to say about the election and the Iranian system that I think needs to be seen.

From Common Dreams:

No Matter Who Is President of Iran, They Would Stone Me
by Lila Ghobady

Why didn’t I vote in the latest elections for the president of the country of my birth, Iran? Because no matter who is the president of Iran, they would stone me!

As an Iranian woman, I require big changes in order to convince myself that a change in president would mean an improvement of my basic rights as human being inside Iran.

I was among many Iranians who decided not to vote in the recent [s]election. We boycotted the sham election in my motherland and have not been surprised by the results publicized by the mainstream media, both in Iran and elsewhere. This puppet regime has never considered the people’s wishes and has always acted in the interests of the few who are in charge of the prison called Iran. Cheating, lying and hypocrisy are the specialties of the religious demagogues that maintain the farce that Iran is a democratic state.

( Here are some simple facts that demonstrate that irrespective of who is president, I would be stoned to death in Iran: )

Everything you post there, including photos you've taken, music you made, posts you've written, and videos you've created is owned by Facebook forever, even if you delete your account. This news is from February, but still worth repeating, as I know a lot of folks with FB accounts.

http://amandafrench.net/2009/02/16/facebook-terms-of-service-compared/

You might want to rethink any membership there if you have anything to post that you may someday want to sell or use in a publication elsewhere.

A post by meallanmouse on men, women, sexism, and stopping the process. Permission was given to repost or link so I'm reposting here, but please drop by the original post for a few notes at the bottom and to say thank you.

From meallanmous

If you're reading this and are a man, I ask you this. It's not a favor I'm asking for. Keep this in mind. It's not a challenge. Some of you will say you know this. But this goes further than just knowing. it's not just about saying "Oh, I know this!". It's about DOING. It's about lifestyle. It's about every day words and actions. It's about changing the world we live in, one word at a time, one action at a time. Over and over and over again, until it sticks.

So. Here I am, asking you this. I'm asking you to do this because it's the right thing to do. I'm asking you this when I shouldn't have to ask you this because there should be no need for it. And yet, here we are. There is need.

And so I ask: Step up.

The next time you see a situation where a male co-worker(s)/friend(s)/stranger(s) is/are making a female colleague(s)/friend(s)/stranger(s) feel uncomfortable, or belittled. Step up.

Even if she's putting up a good front or acting like its normal and okay because that's what a woman is conditioned to do, to be polite, to not raise a fuss, to pretend it's okay to be treated like something less than human, to not get in trouble because she's out-numbered or won't be listened to or will just be laughed at for speaking up for herself. Because she's afraid she'll get in trouble if she speaks up for herself. Because she doubts her right to do so. Because she's afraid to do so. Because she knows - not believes - but knows no one will listen. Because she thinks even if she speaks up, everyone will believe him. Step up.

The next time you see a (possibly incapacitated) woman being taken advantage of at a party/club/friend's house, if you see a woman being verbally abused or physically intimidated at night or in broad daylight with onlookers not intervening. Step up.

The next time you hear a guy make jokes about rapes, jokes that cheapen woman and enable a culture of rape, encourage his friends to treat a woman like a thing, like dirt. Like she's there for his convenience. STEP UP.

It's not enough to just think you'd do it. Be aware. Be pro-active. Don't walk around with the blinders of privilege, unable to see what's going on right beside you.

Because it's not okay. IT'S NOT OKAY. So step up. Say something. Tell your buddies what they're doing isn't okay. Tell the guy over there that what he's saying is wrong. That was he's doing is wrong. Call for help. Call the police. Do something.

It's not just the big things. It's the small everyday things too, that aren't so small and are soul crushing nonetheless. It's everything. Everywhere.

So. Be That Guy.

Be That Guy because it's how things should be. Not because you're some kind of hero, or because you'd deserve kudos for it, or because you're a knight-in-shining-armor - but because in everyday life, that's how things should be. Because a woman shouldn't have to be confronted with behavior that belittles her, or diminishes her, or makes her feel unworthy or unsafe. Because our society needs to change. Because the culture of rape needs to be exposed for what it is and it needs to be confronted and shown as wrong, one small bit at a time.

Be That Guy because those guys? Odds are pretty damn high they won't listen to a woman telling them this. Actually, it's pretty much certain. A guy listening to a woman in this kind of situation, particularly with other guys around? Exception to the rule. Cold hard fact.

But they might listen to you. They might listen to another guy.

It doesn't matter if it's at work, or in the streets. Or at home with your friends and family.

BE THAT GUY.

And if you get thanked for it? Remind yourself of this.

It's not about you.

This is not something a woman should need to thank you for in the first place.

~*~

Stepping up isn't just for guys. This was proven to me today, and this is why I'm extending this post. This is shorter, but when you factor in a culture where women are told to shut up, to be polite, to not rock the boat, to not raise a fuss... this is bigger. This is hard. And it's always going to be hard. And terrifying.

It will also be worth it.

If you're reading this and you're a woman and you've been/are being harassed, speak up. I know it's not a question of if, but of when. That's how things are. So. Talk to Human Resources. Talk to your superior, the one in charge of keeping your work environment safe. Talk to a trusted person. Hopefully, someone in that chain won't let you down. Hopefully the people who are supposed to be there for you, will be there for you.

The ones who prey on women, the ones who make sexist jokes and crass remarks? They don't do that just to you. They do it to other women too.

It's not just about you

And this is just one situation of many. One potential scenario. It's the one I bring here as an example, because it's close to home on many levels, in many instances. Because today, it's the one that made me cry. For myself, and for someone else.

So.

Step up.

Speak out.

Be That Woman.

~*~


If any of you wish to link to this, do so. If any of you wish to repost any of the two sections above on your own journal, blog, whathaveyou - go ahead. Copy paste and do so. No credit needed nor even wanted. Just... please, repost this request.

Step up, you know.

~*~

(end meallanmouse's post)

In addition zie linked to Derailing for Dummies, a problem I ran into yesterday in a journal I ended up taking of my flist because I was being abused in the comments (not by the journal owner, I want to clarify) with exactly this sort of reasoning about PTSD and how I had to lighten up, relax, and treat things like a joke because it was the way to get better and just fucking let it go, dammit. Because, of course, everyone heals in identical ways and "humor" is the cure-all and if you can't laugh at oppression you don't actually want to heal and people with disabilities (and especially trauma-related disabilities that are all in your head anyway) are just feeling entitled and don't want to heal and they're clinging to their crap so they can collect charity. No, I'm not naming names because I'm not interested in sending any drama that way. I just needed to acknowledge what I was feeling about it.

Most of the local CR schmooze folks got together today at the Arboretum for our midsummer ritual for Manannàn. There were some of the inevitable issues that happen when most folks have to deal with the bus system. Just as Patrick got to the drawbridge over the ship canal into Lake Washington the bridge went up, keeping him on the other side a little longer than he'd intended -- and this was after missing a couple of busses that would have saved him the walk.

At any rate, everyone arrived and we zipped down to the little parking lot near Duck Bay on the lake, looking for an appropriate place for our ritual. We'd chosen a spot that looked pretty good and, as we were heading in, O was (thankfully) leaving. After this, timing went quite well. We had the party boats go by both before and after ritual, leaving us to enjoy our tiny bit of weedy lakefront in quiet, especially as the 520 bridge has been closed for the weekend, so there was no traffic noise to deal with either!

We talked over the ritual, ditched a few things that were written more specifically for the ADF groups I'm working with next weekend in California, and parceled out ritual sections to different folks. We also rehearsed the processional song a bit as we were getting ritual items and offerings ready.

When we carried our offerings down to the water, five ducks (four young ones and the mom) showed up and did everything short of clamber onto our feet looking for food. Fortunately, they were uninterested in most of what we were offering, but their presence was fun and amusing. They really were quite adorable.

The ritual ended just as a gorgeous red-violet sunset descended over the U District. I think we were all pretty happy with the circumstances. The growing dusk accompanied us back to the car, where we squished all five of us into my 4-door Echo and headed off to Remedy Tea for after-ritual chat and a cuppa. Discussion was had about Bloomsday, themes in epic fantasy fiction, pop-culture wtfery and the evils of Joseph Campbell and Mircea Eliade. (You kinda had to be there.)

Yesterday I went to a gallery opening in Everett for an SF and steampunk show. Met three local folks who are interested in steampunk but haven't got involved in the community in the Seattle area yet. One of them was one of the SF artists at the show. The steampunk artist hadn't arrived yet before I had to haul alfrecht to the Mukilteo ferry. I'm hoping we'll be able to get together with them locally after I get back from California, though. They seemed pretty cool to me.

I had been intending to go to the Legion Within show last night but realized that I had to do laundry lest I have nothing at all left to wear. Three loads later, it was 5:30am. Needless to say, this rather put a kink in my intentions, but it was okay. I also did a little grocery shopping about 2am over at the 24-hour Albertsons.

Tomorrow I have to get things together for the camping expedition before we head down to Seattle for some photocopying and the SteamVent meeting. A visit to the Sekrit Lab will be required.

It's been rainy and I've been headachy and tired. elvenstarstudio came by this afternoon to pick up some stuff he'd lent me some time back, but it was just a drive-by, as he was an hour or so behind on things he was scheduled to do for the day.

I haven't been able to get up the emotional fortitude to do any writing at all this week and am rather disappointed with myself, but I go through these stages where nothing really seems to want to come out.

Actually, I haven't done anything at all today except read fanfic and eat leftovers. Boring, isn't it?

I think I'll try to get some sleep after I take the DoDC+3 out for his last walk of the night.

My mom emailed today saying that her uncle, Gordon Hicks, passed away yesterday at the age of 100. Uncle Gordon was not someone I knew well. He was the husband of Myrtle Crocker, my grandmother Dorothy's sister. He was a long-time photographer and a fixture in the Boston-area photographic community. He will be buried in Leavitt Cemetery in Charlemont, along with the rest of his generation of the family, for he was the last of them.

The Boston Camera Club newsletter had this article about him earlier this year:

( BCC's Oldest Member Turns 100 )

I had a pretty good day today, aside from a sideswipe encounter with O, who was over at Half Price rather than at Travelers. Thankfully he was otherwise engaged and so didn't try to engage me in conversation.

Shrinkage was good. Talked with Tracy about a bunch of stuff around the whole photographing my life thing and I took a pic of her. She's been my shrink for years so yeah, she's part of my life too. The VA has been pushing them lately to get their clients to do life inventories of goals and such. We talked about the list. Quite a bit of the big stuff is going well for me -- housing, spirituality, vocation, etc. I could use a little work on financial control and on exercise. I said that I would set a goal to attempt to kill off one credit card this year (a perennial problem for me) and for the whole health thing I would try to walk around the lake three times a week. We talked about why I usually end up scuttling the walk; mostly it's because I get sucked into the computer. I thought that if I tried doing the walk first thing after I shower and get dressed but before I even turn the computer on, this would short-circuit the "morning" (relatively defined) email before I'm awake and a cuppa tea routine.

I didn't manage to write today because we hung out with sebastian_lvx at Travelers, then I got into reading a bit. Took a photo of him and alfrecht for the art project as well. (I'm at 9 photos of 24 currently.) Finished up The Art of Attention and got into one of the Sarasvati books I borrowed from the Suzzallo before they returned from the copy place. I'm somewhat disappointed with myself, as I did haul the puter down with me, but sometimes it happens. Tracy thinks I'm ever so disciplined with my writing. Mostly it just happens incidentally because I'm all obsessive about words. Yet I do get things done, so I can't really complain.

Garuda's front tires were rotated so now he's not pulling to the left anymore. There's a very slight pull to the right, but it's much more manageable and doesn't cause me a problem. And yes, they fixed it for free.

Tomorrow there shall be Jai Hanuman. Possibly with yiaya. The lamb shank is coming out of the freezer tonight.

( Steampunk comic under here! )

Today I went to Seattle for the mindfulness meditation group. I was a little late but not too much, mostly because of delays and having to stop to put some gas in the car. Garuda's pulling a little to the left after the tire rotation that went with the oil change, so I called and have an appointment for tomorrow morning at 11am to get the front tires swapped to see if that will help. I'm figuring they'll probably do that for free, considering they did the rotation in the first place.

After the group I dropped by Travelers and had chai and a ladoo and bought some basmati rice. sebastian_lvx was walking by and saw me in the window so he dropped in to chat for a little while before he had to be at work. He caught me up on what he's been doing lately, including a description of counterprotesting the Phelps arsewipes who were in town protesting anything and everything they don't agree with. All seven of them. Fred wasn't with them. I told SL that alfrecht and I would be down tomorrow again as I have a shrink appointment, then we'll be hanging in Seattle until it's time to pick up yiaya at the airport at 10pm.

When SL took off for work, I read a little more then headed over to Half Price and talked with circularruins for a bit as he was shelving the paranormal books section. Picked up a good German/English-English/German dictionary for a dollar and also got a copy of the Rick Moranis remake of Little Shop of Horrors, which alfrecht and I will probably watch before I head for bed tonight. Steve Martin as the sadistic dentist is just priceless and the movie's worth watching it just for that.

Took another photo for the art project today. This one was of my ingredients for dinner -- red kale and baby mustard greens from my garden, frozen salal berries, onion, pine nuts, chicken thigh, garlic paste, and Madras curry for the main dish of curried chicken & greens, along with an artichoke, and basmati rice in the rice cooker to round it all up together. Colorful ingredients that, when mixed together, were quite tasty! I still have to go put the remaining rice away and tuck the half an artichoke into the fridge. Food -- both eating it and cooking it -- are an important part of what I enjoy about my life. When I'm feeling reasonably well, they can be a meditative process and keep me very grounded in the present and in presence. They allow me to focus on something that isn't pain or exhaustion or depression. There's a beauty in the raw ingredients that somehow transcends the basic necessity of eating to sustain life. When I'm able, I also want to be able to cook and eat to sustain my spirit.

I don't so much eat for comfort in the sense of needing a full belly (or an over-full one) to feel good about myself, as much as I derive comfort from the scents and colors, from the flavor, and from sharing food with others. It engages all the senses and brings delight when it's done properly. Sharing it with friends brings opportunities for good conversation, for showing my skills, for offering hospitality and generosity to others. So food and cooking are a central part of what makes me who I am and shapes my life in its contours. When I'm able to cook it brings me satisfaction and a measure of happiness that I don't get from pre-packaged stuff. I may love a good restaurant meal, but I also love the process of doing the cooking; watching the evolution of a dish from raw materials to the plate.

Food is poetry.

I'm hanging out at agatheringgrove at the moment, working on the Brigid piece. It has gone from most of one page to about two and a half pages, sans some quotes I need to insert. I have rather a ways to go. I'm at just over 1200 words at the moment. I've briefly addressed the Vestal Virgins argument and have moved on to deal with Gerald of Wales. I need to expand a bit, I know, but I want to get things down in brief first. My intent is not in any way to argue against women-only flamekeeping groups but to suggest that there is also room for non-exclusive groups within CR. Given the focus of the women's voices in magic anthology, I think it'll be a good essay.

This morning before I headed out to get Garuda's oil changed, I got email notification that my proposal for the anthology "World Religions and Disability: Cross Cultural and Interdisciplinary Perspectives" was accepted. Deadline is January 2010 so I have ample time to work on it, thank all the Gods. This is not a guarantee of the essay itself being accepted, but it means I get into the running so yay! This will be published through a university press so it will be a great addition to my writing CV.

I took The Art of Attention: A Poet's Eye by Donald Revell down to the garage today while Garuda was getting worked on. So far I'm enjoying it very much, as I did Art and Fear previously. I'm about halfway through this small tome and was quite inspired and it got me thinking some about what I want to do for the essay in the magical/spiritual poetry anthology that's in progress. It touched on both some of the things that I believe and practice about filidecht and on some of what we're discussing and working with in the mindfulness meditation group at the VA. I'll probably take it in tomorrow for the session and show it to the group leaders. The attention the author speaks of is, in so many words, a species of mindfulness meditation and being present in the moment and to everything that surrounds us. I need to spend a little time outdoors today.

New plants and a storage seat were added to the lanai this weekend. I got a hellebore, a green bean, and two cucumber plants. One is a lemon cucumber and the other is a standard variety long green, both organic. The hellebore went into the brass planter I found by the dumpster and looks good there. I rearranged some of the pots after assembling the seat and stowing some of the unsightly bits within. The HOA sent out a notice that we can't store anything on the lanais or they'll come and haul stuff away. Of course, this is only a viable threat if you happen to live on the ground floor. It's a bit difficult to get up to the second or third floor to steal shit from the residents unless they open the door for you. Anyway, the couple of empty pots and bag of potting soil fit into the storage seat and it qualifies as "patio furniture" so they can't bitch about it.

I'll probably pick some kale and thin the mustard seedlings today so that I'll have some greens for dinner. There's also an artichoke that needs cooking, so that'll be part of tonight's activities as well. I might poke alfrecht and see if he wants to go to the Steamvent tonight, as Marcellus Von Karsh, one of the locals, is moving to Chicago and is making his farewell appearance at the Wayward tonight.

It's nearly 5pm, so I should be getting on home. No doubt the DoDC+3 needs externalization for his daily constitutional. More later!

Today, after hauling alfrecht out to the Lynnwood Borders, I hied myself over to freyrboy and elvenstarstudio's place to have dinner with them and herbmcsidhe and ravenmcsidhe for my "birthday". They couldn't make it into Seattle on the 27th of March, so we set something up for the Eastside where I could go and hang with them for a while.

Dinner was fantastic, as always at that household. Catching up with life, the universe, and everything was pretty damned fine too. We met back in 1988, 21 years ago now. It's astonishing to me how long I've known some of the folks around here and how we're still good friends, even if we fall in and out of close contact with one another.

I took the Million Tiny Pictures project camera over with me and snapped a shot of the four of them at the dinner table, dishing up food and sipping wine. Things have been pretty busy for all of us since I saw them last. With me it's mostly been writing. Health has been the big issue over on that side of the water, it seems. I talked about my upcoming road trip and asked about using their place for the warrior homecoming ritual that the local CR group will be doing for me on July 18th. They said they'll be going to Summerstar, but we can use the house, no problem.

Of course, this means if anything gets misplaced or trampled, I'm the one responsible, but I figure the schmooze folks are responsible adults so we'll be fine.

Unfortunately, Herb and Katrina will also be at Summerstar. I had really wanted Herb to be there, as another vet, but given that scheduling for getting the schmooze folks together all at once can be a bit challenging, I'm willing to make do without. tedgill and martianmooncrab -- any chance either of you would be available for an overnight ritual in Redmond on July 18th? You're both invited if you're able to come.

Writing-wise, I haven't got anything at all done in the last two weeks. I've been going between too stuck in teh intarwebs to get out and too tired to focus on actual writing. The Brigid essay is outlined but I have to actually have brain and unstuck time together in one place to get some work done on it. I'll probably take the laptop along when I go for Garuda's oil change appointment tomorrow and see if I can get a little bit done then. Wednesday I'll be hanging out in Seattle after my shrinkage until it's time to pick up yiaya at SeaTac at about 10pm, so I'm hoping to do some writing at Travelers and possibly elsewhere that day as well.

Tomorrow I'll probably post a tentative revised road trip schedule as more folks have replied regarding when they're available. blindwebster -- if you have a date for the poetry ritual, please do let me know!

mythworker over on the Wild Hunt Blog noted that there's now a PDF up of the PanGaia article about influential Pagans that he wrote and where he mentions me in the reconstructionists section. Thanks Jason!

Went up to visit man_of_snows on Thursday with alfrecht. We had tea at an English style tea shop in Bellingham. The scones were very yummy and light like feathers. Mine tend to be rather more substantial, which I also like, but I do wonder how they get theirs so fluffy. We did a Jory Puja praising his poetic talents to celebrate his graduation Magna Cum Laude from Western, which involved singing a silly bhajan, fiery arti, and flinging carnation petals. (Yes, I helped pick up the petals after I flung them.) A bookshop was visited and "Ecotherapy" was purchased. Dinner was had at a local Vietnamese place.

Yesterday I took yiaya down to the airport for her niece's graduation. I'll be picking her up on Wednesday night when she gets back into town. Garuda's got an appointment Monday for an oil change prior to my road trip.

For the California folks -- I need to start getting my itinerary together. Here's what I'm looking at so far:

Leave Everett Wednesday the 24th, night in Eureka
Thursday arrive at the campsite for the camp out weekend
Sunday night the 28th, Sebastopol with Gus (got to email him separately)
After that, time with lwood and dpaxson for a few days, assuming they'll have me.
At some point during this interlude, ritual with blindwebster and visiting with jcalanthe
When we're all done being jolly together, head down to LA to see tagh333 and company for a day or two
At the end of the road, Lowell Ford down in Torrence
Head home. Back by July 7th or 8th.

So, folkses, put in your claims for my time!

From paigemom via herbmcsidhe:

Many Pagans compare the "coming out of the broom closet" process of telling family and friends that they're Pagan to "coming out" as gay/lesbian/bixexual/transgender.

But is it really the same? And who better to ask than the folk who have chosen -- or chosen not -- to do both?

I am editing an anthology tentatively titled Closet With Two Doors, and I am looking for GLBT Pagan contributors. I am looking for personal musings, true-life accounts, opinion pieces, poems, rituals -- anything but obvious fiction that illustrates the author's thoughts, experiences and feelings about coming out as queer and as Pagan -- or choosing to come out as one but not the other.

Here are some questions to get you started. You do not need to necessarily answer every question in your piece.

When and how did you know you were gay? When and how did you know you were Pagan? Did any one experience affirm both aspects?
Are you out of the closet? Are you out of the broom closet? Why or why not? Are you out of one closet but not the other? Why or why not?
Did your family and friends react differently to one "outing" than the other? Why or why not?
Do your glbt friends know you're Pagan? Why or why not?
How hard (or how easy) has it been for you to find a life partner because you're glbt and Pagan?

Essays should be at least 1,500 words and at most 4,000 words in length. Longer essays will be considered on a case-by-case basis. Poems and rituals may vary. Please do not send more than three poems. All writers -- published and unpublished -- are invited to submit pieces for consideration.Published contributors will receive $25 and two complimentary copies of the anthology.

Deadline: November 1, but sooner is definitely better!

Please send your submission as a Word attachment to bronwenforbes@yahoo.com with the word "submission" somewhere in the subject line. Please run your piece through spell check and grammar check before hitting the 'send' button, and choose an easy-to-read font and font size (i.e. Times New Roman 12).

If you have any questions, please email me at bronwenforbes@yahoo.com

In just a few minutes I'm going to toss myself in the shower and get ready to head north to see man_of_snows. He graduated magna cum laude from his courses and we're going up to celebrate his graduation and ritual at him for blessings on his poetic self.

Tomorrow I'm driving yiaya out to the airport where she's going to a relative's graduation.

There will be more writing and reports on cool stuffs that have been going on when I get home tonight. Yayz!

Today was the Seattle CR schmooze. We scheduled for our Manannán midsummer ritual to be held at the Arboretum on the 21st from 8-10pm. We also got together our introductory book list. ( Boring details here. )