By the time I got home, I was pretty wiped out. I've made food but haven't really done anything else. I've just been feeling like crap today and kind of depressed, but I don't think that's terribly unreasonable, given mysterious dizziness that's keeping me from doing much of anything. It's hard to focus enough to read, which happens to me when I'm too tired or not feeling well. So I've been doing Plants v Zombies, but am not really engaged by it, I'm just being obsessive to have something to do that doesn't require brains. (Except in a zombie sort of way.)
Tomorrow is Irish class, but if I feel like this I'm not sure if I'll be able to focus at all for class. I am not having fun.
Several suggestions have been made in comments to my previous posts. A few answers here:
1. I don't have a Costco membership and it's $55 to get one. If I'm only doing this to get glasses, I'm not sure how much money that would actually save me.
2. Ordering glasses online would probably take a couple of weeks to arrive. I'm sort of SOL until I get new glasses as far as driving goes. I also can't try on frames online. It's like ordering shoes online - what if I have to send them back because they don't look/fit right?
3. LensCrafters might be able to get me new glasses today. They do advertise glasses in an hour. I recognize that not all prescriptions are covered by that, but at least I can inquire. If it's going to be today, it's worth paying extra so that I can drive again immediately. If not, then I'll look into an online purchase because it would likely be a couple of weeks anyway. If I have to wait, then cheaper is definitely better.
4. I have a call in to the Patient Advocate and am hoping they will return my call at some point this afternoon, but I suspect it won't be until next week.
5. If the new glasses fix the dizziness, then I officially don't have to worry about whether or not something else is horribly wrong with me. The sooner I can get that resolved, the better, and that would be a Very Good Thing. Then I can safely wait until April to get new bifocals or reading glasses from the VA without more than generalized annoyance. If they don't fix the dizziness, then I know I'm going to have to light a fire under the VA to find out what's really going on. Either way, result.
Faced with this, I took matters (rather expensively) into my own hands and have an appointment with a doc at LensCrafters for tomorrow at 5:30. I will talk to them about what's going on. They will do an eye exam. I may well be able to walk out of there with new glasses and not have to worry about the whole finding a room for Norwescon if it does deal with the dizziness issues.
Once that is resolved, I will then be able to call the VA and cancel the April appointment and see about scheduling this other thing they want to do for when I get home from back east. The basic eye exam is going to cost me about $130 and I have no idea at all what the glasses will cost. Apparently they are currently having a half-price on lenses sale, but only if you buy frames from them. I'll have to talk to them about actual costs when I get in there. If I can just get them to deal with the regular myopia glasses, I can wait on bifocals until the VA can deal with things. As long as I don't have to wear them all the time, I won't have to deal with the whole eyestrain and migraines issue that arises from constant use of them. This may cost me several hundred dollars out of pocket, but at least I should be able to drive next week instead of waiting indefinitely for the VA to pull its collective head out of its posterior.
This, my friends, is why I have credit cards.
This, however, leaves me with problems regarding Norwescon. I'm going to ask ingvisson if he can watch the DoDC+3 for me, and gra_is_stor if she can drive me down to the con next Thursday before my first panel and back on Sunday. I'm pretty sure they'll both be willing, but this means that I have to find a last-minute place at the con hotel to drop an air mattress and a sleeping bag. If you're going to the con and you have space, please let me know. I am perfectly happy to spring for my share of room costs, I just need a place to stay because I won't be able to drive down every day as I'd been planning.
At any rate, I have been paying attention over the past few days that I've had dizziness, and it seems to increase when I am wearing my usual glasses. So for the moment it looks like I have a choice between (a) eyestrain-induced migraines if I wear the bifocals too much and (b) traffic-hazard level dizziness if I wear my regular glasses. Yay. Even if I get into optometry this week (the doc put that it was an emergency due to issues of peripheral vision, in addition to the dizziness, so that they would call me back sooner), it's going to take weeks to actually get new glasses from the VA. Which means that, as far as I'm concerned, I'll be wearing the bifocals most of the time and risking migraines, but should be able to drive without too much trouble.
Go go gadget vision problems.
The tea & whisky sipping this afternoon went brilliantly. Half a dozen guests and gra_is_stor came, though I was too tired afterwards to go to Irish class in the evening. We talked about B movies, Cthulhu, music geekery, Chaucer Hath a Blog, whisky, and a bunch of other lovely stuff. I did prepare rather more food than was needed, but that tends to be the way of things for me. Snacks for later.
ingvisson was reminded about tomorrow's VA appointment and confirmed that we have to leave here by 9:30am. And so, at that, I should probably attempt to crawl off to sleep, as I will have to be up by 8am absolute latest, and probably 7:30 by preference (take that word advisedly). Thanks to everyone who has been supportive about all this over the past few days. I very much appreciate your thoughts.
- Tunes:Mouth Music: Forever to Travel
Yesterday I was dizzy pretty much all day. I did get out with gra_is_stor to go shopping with her. Although she's sprained her ankle, she can drive. She can't walk, though, as she's on crutches and it's a pain for her. Me, I can walk, even if I'm a little wobbly. So she drove and I went in and got stuff for both of us while she waited in the car. It was reasonably convenient, though I got tired fairly quickly.
Today I woke up not dizzy but, about three hours later, I was feeling it again. Despite this, I spent most of the day cleaning the house and doing some baking. I have some nutmeg scones together now. I've also got laundry in the dryer, though it should be done soon. A little while ago I walked over to Safeway to pick up a few extra things that I needed (ran out of baking powder and want to do one more batch of scones, so I had to get some of that, at least).
Once the laundry is done, I'll finish up the dishes I used to make the scones and probably head for bed, as I should have folks coming over tomorrow for the Tea & Whisky party. There's still a little left to do around the house, but I should be able to get it done before 2 if I set the alarm for noon.
And now, more stuff.
Today while I was driving down to the VA I had one that hit me pretty hard, and it was rather scary, but I got down there okay. It had eased up but not abated by the time I was done with my group. I went by the women's clinic to see if one of the docs was in but nobody was there, so the gal at the desk suggested I go over to the ER.
I talked to the nurse there, and they did an EKG, which turned out fine, as she thought it would. We talked about some things it could possibly be but eliminated things like a stroke (no problems with limb movement, eye tracking, numbness) or an upper respiratory infection (I haven't had one). It could be anything from high blood pressure (it was high, but I was having anxiety today and then there was the whole driving with dizziness through Seattle traffic) to arterial problems to who really knows what. I was told to make an appointment with my doc for some screening stuff and told not to drive until the docs can figure out what's going on. The nurse told me that if they don't actually find anything organically wrong that's probably the best possible outcome, because in cases where a person is having inexplicable dizziness, "what's wrong" may well be something pretty bad.
I am wondering if it may have something to do with my glasses. My usual ones really need a change, and the bifocals give me migraines from eyestrain if I wear them for too long. I'm not going to worry about anything unless/until I really have to, but I do have to figure out a way to get down to NorwesCon for Thursday, Friday, and Saturday (when I have panels and such) if I'm still not driving weekend after next.
Saturday I had a meetup I want to go to, but I doubt I'll be able to get there. I'm going to call the VA tomorrow and try to make an appointment but I won't likely get in until at least next week. Brianna came down to pick me up today with her friend JT, so she drove me and my car home. We had dinner (I had pizza for pi day) then watched an episode of Cadfael with gra_is_stor. I'm still feeling dizzy off and on. Mostly it's not too bad, but it does occasionally get briefly worse.
If anyone wants to put in some words with healing deity(ies) of your choice, it would be appreciated.
I stopped by the grocery store to get a few things. I was out of flour and was going to bake some scones for Sunday, so I had to get a bag, along with dog food, and whatnot. A little while ago I put a hunk of lamb in the crock pot to let it cook overnight. There are mushrooms, garlic, and some spices in with it.
I've been too tired today to work at all on the research and notes for the book, but will probably do some of that tomorrow. I ended up getting up today at about 4pm, which was later than I would have liked, but I was still pretty creaky and exhausted when I did so. Thankfully, I don't have any specific plans for tomorrow beyond "get up, shower, get dressed, take the dog out." Oh, and "have tea and eat." That would probably also be useful.
Speaking of tea, some arrived from Adagio today in the mail, but they neglected to send the tin I had paid for, so I had to email customer support and tell them to send it along. They'd sent a packet of tea instead of the tin. grar.
I spent several hours today off and on digging around in journal articles, chapters of books, and reading through some of my previously written/published stuff to sift through ideas toward the Brigid book. Some things in my brain are shifting a bit and beginning to coalesce, but I'm uncertain of the shape of things to come.
Got an email today from a French grad student working toward a PhD dealing with the use of Amanita muscaria and shamanism who was asking me about some of the stuff covered in my old Shaman's Drum article, so I sent him a link to the English PDF and the translation that was done into French some years back. With any luck, he will find at least some of it useful. Also responded to an email from Tony Mierzwicki asking some questions about Beltaine, providing a brief answer for a talk he's preparing to give in a couple of weeks.
- Tunes:Talking Heads: Psycho Killer
One of the things I did was order a copy of Kim McCone's Pagan Past and Christian Present in Early Irish Literature. I had to order it through ABE from Germany. It was the cheapest copy I could find, which means that inclusive of postage I'm paying just under a hundred dollars for it. I saw copies listed for I think up to about £800 (I don't even want to think about it), so I can't complain too much about what I've had to pay here. It'll take a while to arrive, though.
In a little bit I'm going to drag myself into the kitchen and make a rhubarb cobbler. I wasn't feeling up to doing much today until just a little while ago. The time change is not something that makes me happy, but I bitch about it every year. I'll need to haul out the ladder and change the clock on the wall sometime soonish as well. Probably tomorrow.
For those in the Seattle area who might be interested, Leon and Allen are doing Shivaratri at Travelers tomorrow evening at 7pm. They told me to pass the word to interested parties. I might go, if I have enough brain cells to drive that far. I won't be able to decide until tomorrow sometime.
- Tunes:The Shamen: LSI (Frank De Wulf Dub Rave)
I'd hoped to do a little writing today but mostly did some reading instead. The temperature tonight has dropped to the mid-30s and the lovely, sunny day has turned into a deeply foggy night. Mostly I'm tired and cold, so I'll be heading for bed soon. I did spend some time yesterday and today working on catching up on some email I needed to deal with.
There are plans in the offing for a March 17th tea & whisky sipping with steampunks here at my place, so if you are interested in coming, please let me know. I only have so much room in the old homestead. Also, on Wednesday the 27th of March, I'll be heading over to the AFK Tavern around 7pm to celebrate my birthday. Come along if you like. I don't plan to make a reservation for the day as I have no idea if anyone will be coming, given it's mid-week, but I'd love to see you if you want to come by.
My creaky parts continue on their usual creaky way. Some grocery shopping was done last night, including both rhubarb and some frozen peaches, so I am contemplating a couple of cobblers in the coming weeks. Brianna might have a line on a place to move to come mid-month, and we'll see how that goes.
Along with everything else, sleep is still for the weak.
- Tunes:Black Tape for a Blue Girl: Am I So Deceived
Since gra_is_stor has started doing Irish language lessons just down the street here on Sunday evenings, I've started taking classes again. I've been too out of it to get down to Seattle much on days when I'm not actually dealing with a VA appointment, unless I have several things I'm doing on the same day.
I'm dealing with a lot of brain fog since I got home. Tiredness will do that, and really kind of aggravates it. The Everett Pagan meetup was pretty good. I knew several of the folks who came, which was nice. It's easier for me to be in a group when I know more people. One of the folks who came is a Russian guy practicing Slavic Paganism. He was pretty interesting, and showed us a necklace he'd made of his god and goddess, which was some really beautifully carved and polished wood. It'll be nice to talk with him more and learn about what he's doing.
The Medieval Women's Choir concert was lovely, as usual. ingvisson came along with us and seemed to quite enjoy himself. We really need to get tickets to the upcoming Beowulf performance with Benjamin Bagby, as it was again advertised on the back of the MWC program. I've wanted to see him perform this for years.
I've not had the focus to make further notes toward my Brigid book outline, but I'll be trying to do that later this week again. Tomorrow is the steampunk social, and I'll need to make plans toward my tea & whisky St Patricks Day thing with the Air Krakens. I'm not looking for a large group, so I'll be restricting attendance to about a dozen people.
Yesterday I emailed mom, as I owed her a response to a couple of her emails. I called a couple of weeks ago, I think, but I hadn't been posting regularly, so mom, I just didn't want you to worry that I'd fallen off the edge of the continent or something. I'm trying to keep up with things without stressing out too much.
There's a new Cadfael waiting to be viewed when gra_is_stor has enough time to come by for it. We had considered watching it last week but didn't quite find the time for it. Both of us are feeling pretty worn down, and she's doing allergy treatments that mean she's feeling crappier than usual recently.
Once I get more of my brain functioning than just the brain stem, I have emails that I need to answer. Sleep has been a precarious and rare commodity of late, more so than usual. It means I'm feeling more scattered than normal, as well. Probably contributes considerably to the brain fog.
Today I was mostly just too tired to focus on much of anything. I couldn't read much and actually spent a fair amount of time just playing Plants v Zombies because it was brainless. (As you do.) When we got home, I made more food and ate a little, then walked down to the store to pick up a few things to tide me over until I can get out for more, probably Sunday. I think I sprained a muscle in my right hand today, as it's much more sore than usual. I've been hitting it with a lot of liniment in hopes that this will help somewhat.
Tomorrow gra_is_stor is starting to coordinate the Everett Pagan meetup, as the previous organizer is no longer doing so. After that, we'll be heading down to Seattle for the Medieval Women's Choir concert. It's at 8pm at St James Cathedral, as always. And now I'm going to try to get some sleep.
- I feel: uncomfortable
The irritation mentioned in the title of the post was due to a comment from one of the guys working at Travelers, talking to a couple of other people there in the shop. He said he didn't think that gluten intolerance actually existed before genetically modified food came around. I could not help thinking how idiotic such a thing was. Sure, maybe it has aggravated things somewhat but you know what? Before we had ways to identify and deal with allergies, people got sick and DIED. And nobody was quite sure why. We didn't start getting more infections once antibiotics were discovered, though we did make some of them worse because of the overuse of antibiotics. People got sick and died of infections, and they don't do it quite so often any more. Those young children who failed to thrive and eventually died? Maybe they had food allergies that were unidentified and were essentially untreatable a hundred years ago or a thousand years ago. Just because people didn't understand a thing doesn't mean it didn't exist. Germs existed before we figured out what they are and what they do. You wouldn't have seen a lot of adults with severe food allergies because they would have died in childhood. The way that people used to die of infections or acute appendicitis or kidney failure or aneurisms before we figured out ways to diagnose and prevent or mitigate or even heal some of these things.
This has been your rant for the day. We now return you to your regularly scheduled whatever, already in progress.
- I feel: irritated
Today I mostly dealt with cleaning things up from the road trip, putting things away, and clearing the decks for working on the Brigid book's outline and whatnot. There's so damned much to deal with for that book, and I still haven't entirely decided exactly how to approach the topic and the material. And then there's the part where divination suggested I should make something for Herself before I actually write the book, and I haven't figured out what that something would be.
Anyway, my brain she is not working very well this evening so I'm going to crawl away and huddle under the covers with Plants vs Zombies or something until I fall asleep. If I haven't any brains of my own, perhaps the zombies won't get me.
We did get down to the con again yesterday, and one of gra_is_stor's friends, who was one of the featured musicians, got us into last night's acoustic concert. It was lovely and low key and I enjoyed it a lot despite being pretty well doomed to feeling like week-dead flounder. We went to mythworker's panel with Thorn Coyle and the Grimassis and I took a photo on Thorn's tablet that Jason ended up using on The Wild Hunt today, which was quite amusing, as everyone was doing the hand on the chin looking dramatic thing that Jason does.
The concert was Faun, a German Pagan folk group, and members of Woodland and Treguenda, all of which I enjoyed immensely, though I will admit I was more enamored of Faun's global folk style. I already had one of Faun's cds but was immediately convinced that I have to get everything else they've ever done...
PCon the week before was immense and overwhelming, in its usual way. I got good turnout and good responses to pretty much everything I participated in. The Immanion panel was only attended by maybe ten people, so it was the least successful of all the things I did, but it wasn't really my show, so I wasn't too worried about it. Having hauled a whole suitcase of books down with me to PCon, I returned with only two, and sold one of those at FaerieCon yesterday, as Thorn Coyle had introduced me to Raven and Stephanie Grimassi as being a good resource person. They are apparently working on some kind of "Celtic" tarot or divination deck, but they don't know much of anything about Celtic anything. I told them I'd written a kick ass ogam book and they were interested in having a look so I brought one along and they bought it from me.
The Irish healing deities session was well-received and well-attended. My joint session with druid_medb on spirit work and trauma was well-attended for an 11pm session. We filled most of one half of a double room, which was really good not just for the hour but for the heavy subject material. We had at least three mental health professionals in attendance, and several folks who are dealing with different aspects of the material we were addressing. We got a number of requests to bring the session back again next year, at a more reasonable hour for people from the east coast and for folks who are not late-nighters, so we'll look into having the session at 7pm one one of the days if that's possible.
Among the discussions I had with people at the con, I talked to Chris Penczak about my trip east. During the conversation I inquired about maybe teaching a session on ogam for his people in New Hampshire. He said he'd run it by his board of directors but he thought it sounded like a really good idea, so we'll see if I can get a little extra infusion of some cash while I'm out there to help with gas for the rest of the cross-country adventure. I'll email him in March to just keep the idea in front of him, knowing I'm unlikely to get any firm response until I can pinpoint a date I'll be in Massachusetts.
My next priority is NorWesCon, in late March. I've already ordered more poetry books to take along, considering I was fortunate enough to sell out of them on the first day of PCon. They should arrive in a couple of weeks. Thankfully, that's all panels moderated by other people, so my prep there is pretty much rock bottom minimum. While I was gone, the Pilgrimage photo book arrived. A couple of the photos turned out a little darker than I was quite expecting, but they are okay. I'm looking into making the book also available in a paperback edition, which will be less expensive. I would probably sell a few more of them that way. That's a task for another day, however.
This week I'm looking at Wednesday shrinkage, Thursday group, and Saturday evening is the Medieval Women's Choir concert "From Santiago to Canterbury." It's at Saint James Cathedral at 8pm, if anyone is interested in going.
Once I'm rested up a little, it's time to work on an outline and a framework for the Brigid book.
- Tunes:Gabrielle Roth: Staccato
And now, tired Erynn is about to go fainting in coils, so I'm gonna head for bed.
Have an awesome night!
Depending on how I feel, I told her that if she's willing to drive, we could possibly go to Faerycon both days this weekend, but I'm not certain I'm going to be up to going tomorrow. If I don't go tomorrow, that would mean I'd miss meddevi and Nathan, who are doing a workshop there. Ah, well. We'll see whether or not I'm fit company for human or beast. (Or faery.)
- I feel: exhausted
I am now collapsing in a heap.
- I feel: sleepy
Today I drove down to Fresno to see random_nexus and also met her pirate. We all went out for dinner, did fandom squee and geekery, then came back to the motel and played a round of Cthulhu Fluxx. They loved it and want to get one as well.
Sadly, the advertised "free wireless" has worked for maybe a grand total of 20 minutes today, so I am posting from my phone. feh
Tomorrow I'm heading north for Eugene at the asscrack of dawn so that I'll get to mythworker's at a reasonable hour. There will be rather more about the con and all when I get home.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
I talked to Chris Penczak briefly in the Temple of Witchcraft hospitality suite. When I have more information about actual dates I'll be in New England, we might be able to arrange for me to do a workshop on ogam for his people, pending his talking to the board of directors. He's based in New Hampshire, and it would only be a couple of hours from Springfield while I was out there. That would give me an opportunity to get a little gas money for the rest of the trip, and maybe sell some books. No promises, but I suspect there's a good chance I can pull that together.
Tomorrow's a busy day. I have the Immanion authors panel at 1:30 in the Silicon Valley room, 5pm in the ADF suite I have the informal photo show & tell about the Ireland & Isle of Man pilgrimage, and at 11pm the spirit work and PTSD joint session with druid_medb will be happening in Carmel/Monterey. I suspect that one will be pretty well attended.
Sadly, my day starts rather earlier than I would like. There's a pre-ritual meeting in our room early in the day, so the alarm goes off at 9am. I don't see things I'm likely to be very conscious for at the 11am session, so I will probably be dealing with something vaguely resembling breakfast at that hour.
After the Lupercalia ritual, I got a chance to meet an African Raven, brought to the festival by Our Thracian Colleague. He is a beautiful bird and I got a chance to hold him and talk to him a bit and ruffle his feathers. He's got unusual coloring for a raven, in that he has some grey feathers and his eyes, rather than having gone to black, are a dark grey-amber color. He's really amazing and I'm going to see if I can take a few photos of him tomorrow if I run into Andrew during the day. That was really quite a treat!
And now, given that it is going on 2am, I'm goingt to check a couple of other websites and then head up to find myself a little snooze.
I'm all excited about being here and catching up with everyone that I only see about once a year.